Are you watching? Are you?

When I was little I used to get annoyed when strangers looked at me. I remember being on the subway with my mom one time, sitting on the corner bench on a crowded afternooon, looking up at the adults benignly watching my (adorable) 4-year-old behavior as they hung on to the strap above us. I told my mom that I hated it when people crowded me, that they should just mind their business, go stand somewhere else and look somewhere else. I can still picture the amused smiles on the faces of those hapless commuters as they looked for something else to look at.

I don't get weirded out as much anymore when people stare at me, but I get curious. You know how some days it feels like everyone you pass on the street recognizes you or something? On days like that I just want to stop people and be like, "What is it? Do I look like your cousin? Do I have something on my face? Did I do something good with my hair? What do you think of me, really?" Or even when it's just one person at a bar or a show or in a class, and you're looking at them and they're looking back, over and over until maybe you talk all night/fool around/spend the next year leaving toothpaste and shirts and books at each others houses and talking about the future... I still want to know (even though I never ask): How did it start? Was it my face? My outfit? My boobs? My crooked tooth? Were you impressed by who I was talking to, or what I was talking about, or what I was drinking? Was it just the fact that I was looking back?

On Monday I went with Charlie to my friends Andrew and Josh's party, HUGS. It's really taking off (there's even a biter party called Hugs in Brooklyn now, I saw a myspace bulletin about it) and this week was proof. The place was packed with familiar faces. There was a band playing downstairs called Realms, and we watched for half a song. I think they sound Thrones-y, but who really knows. Well, maybe the people who were watching for longer could tell you. The themes of the evening were: record release, birthday, going away to San Diego to see about a girl, and why Monday nights are always totally worth it. What else can I tell you, I'm convinced!

In other news, I have this idea for a project, and I need to know: when you are walking around jamming on your ipod/discman/SPORTwalkman, do you picture your fave tunes as a soundtrack to your life? Or is it more like you picture a music video? Or is it a skate video? Or is it actually a soundtrack to some story that does not star you? Or do you just jam on it and not picture anything? Actually, if it's that last answer, you should make something else up because that doesn't really help me.