My tangerine priorities

Sometimes in life we have a time-out where we spend many days in a row being really into a TV show or mad about the issues or "processing" our feelings, as people say in Northern California.

But sometimes life is like being one of those guys who simultaneously has investments in: a pony up in Saratoga, a modeling agency in Queens, a pet store in Yonkers, those vitamins that people sell in their offices, a "cash now for your home" situation, and a company that pays people to put advertisements on their family cars or lawns.

Do you know what I'm saying? You know, that feeling of having way too much going on and every single thing seeming weird and hard to explain. Such as:

Charging $2500 for a cremation onto the credit card of the person who got cremated, and hoping they will not notice that someone just paid to get themselves cremated, because I'll be screwed if the credit card gets canceled.

I guess that's actually kind of awesome. But still.

Oh, that reminds me (this story is kind of graphic so you can skip it if you want): when I was in New Orleans, I went to get a bikini wax at the same place my sister and I had gotten massages. Very unusually, I hadn't gotten one since late December, on account of family responsibility. Normally I go every six weeks. Not that I'm caught in some Beauty Myth situation, but I do like to keep things together, and I was at the point where all I wanted out of my vacation was some new clothes, a tan, and a bikini wax.

Annnnyways, I got a kind of weird vibe from the waxing lady right from the start when she was like, "you can put the paper underpants on over your real panties." In case you don't know, that's like wearing undies under your bikini. Pointless! How can you be a bikini waxer if you are embarrassed about seeing the private area? And then she was obsessed with talking about how she's from New York and how there's no good shopping in New Orleans, especially since the hurricane, and how there's this really good Brazilian waxing place in NYC that I should go to (as if!). And then at the end, she was like, "you should really come more often than every three months." I was so mad! I was like, "I would have come sooner, but then my mom died and I got super busy!" I mean, first of all, it's true, and secondly, if she's going to get personal, I'm going to get personal. And thirdly, if you are a bikini waxer, you should not be talking about my area as if it is some hardship to you. Let's get serious: I am not the problem. The real problem is still out there.

Oh yeah, I also forgot to say another thing that happened, which is that I made friends with a new friend who lives on my old street! Her name is Lisa and we basically have the same haircut except with different bangs variations. We went to Lit and I took these pictures of her. Just kidding, everyone knows those are pictures of me! It's due to our similar haircuts that I'm getting confused.