Cher James Franco,

I'm in Paris!

I'm staying in a very nice apartment in the 3rd that belongs to some family friends. The first time I stayed here, I was 10, in 5th grade, and with my parents.

Anyways, here in Paris I have had many small adventures so far. First of all, I have gone grocery shopping. I discovered a chocolate bar that supposedly helps with PMS! I don't have PMS, but I thought I would try it anyway. I bought a bunch of prepared vegetable dishes in the kind of plastic packages that lunch meat comes in. I've already tried a few brands of yogurt. Oh, and I also bought a mohair beret at Monoprix.

Another new adventure is my French class. Today was my first day!

The morning was boring: we were talking about the parts of a house. There was one other American in the class, and during the break he told me he's a retiree from Michigan who lives on a sailboat with his wife. In two years, they're sailing back to North America to stay in the Caribbean. He and the other people in the class weren't that good, with the exception of one Filipina nun, who was proficient but bossy. She told me she'd lived in the U.S. briefly, but she said she had lived in "Wyoming, Michigan," so I didn't know what to do. After the class, the teacher asked me if the class was too easy for me, and I said no even though it sort of was... I guess I wanted to be encouraging?

The afternoon was a different group and less boring. We were doing a writing project that involved creating an imaginary charity, writing a letter to our local prefecture asking for an incorporation license, and then creating a web page. I was in a group with a Serbian aesthetician named Biljana, an Italian accountant named Massimo, and a Spanish guy whose name I forget. It was weird to realize that the four of us could only communicate in French, especially after my experience with the nun and sailor in the morning. Anyway, our charity was about donating clothes to children in Africa. It was called "Habiller les enfants." I didn't make that up. Our slogan, which I also did not make up, was "Couvrons notre future." It's a jeu of mots!

The Serbian told me that there was another American in the class, and pointed at him. He was young and looked kind of like the kid who plays Derek on Degrassi TNG. During the break, I heard him talking to the two African ladies in the class about how much he didn't like it when his American friends were too lazy to practice their French, and insisted on speaking English instead. This made me dislike him mildly, but I guess it might just be the kind of thing you'd say if you were trying to make conversation using your limited vocabulary and when talking to older women from a foreign culture. Right?

So, after class, I ended up talking to the American and this Kuwaiti guy who'd been sitting next to the American (their charities involved helping blind people and helping children who've been exposed to radioactivity, respectively). Obviously, the American insisted on speaking French, which annoyed me, and resulted in me saying, "I graduated from college three hours ago" and the Kuwaiti guy telling me that there are approximately 25 arrondissements in Paris when I asked him which one he lived in. Actually, I think the second thing was the Kuwaiti guy's fault, not mine.

Long story short, the American invited me to see a movie with him and his friends tonight, but I didn't go because I was afraid that I'd have to speak French all evening with a bunch of Americans in front of normal French people. That is where I draw the line!

More things have happened, but I don't have time to describe them right now. Would you visit me if I lived here? If you're not sure I'd invite you, you can comment anonymously.